Kagome's 35 things that all girls need to know
by Neo Staff
Summary: RandR! These are just some randome things that I thought up on a Saturday night.I'm not sure what this should be rated since my friends are weird and they don't know what 'rating' really means.Just read it.Made it all up, as far as I know.
1. To lazy to name the darn thing

**_Kagome's twelve things that all girls need to know._**

_**By: Neo Staff**_

Disclaimer: Okay, so mybrother came up to me and said, "Do you own Inuyasha." I thought for a while then decided to confuse the heck out of him by telling him 'yes' in English and 'no' in Japanese…shows you how slow he is. I don't own Inuyasha...AND NEITHER DO YOU SO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The only thing that I own are the twleve thingsthat Kagome says...so there!

Kagome: "Hello everyone, my name is Kagome and I'm an author. The book I wrote is called…"

Inuyasha: "Feh! You're no author."

Kagome: "Sit boy!"

Inuyasha: "Oh, son of a bit-"

Kagome: "Good boy! Now, stay. Anyways, as I was saying, my name is Kagome and I'm an author. I wrote the book called 'Kagome's twelve things that all girls need to know.' It might not be famous now, but it will be."

Inuyasha, muffled: "Yeah, in your dreams it will be."

Kagome: "SIT BOY!"

Inuyasha: "No! Not again! NOOOOOOO-"

Kagome: "_This_ time stay! Like I was saying again…I don't remember. Well, I'd like to tell all of you a few things that are in the book. You girls out there, these are a few good things to know and use."

Shippou: "Kagome? Can I listen?"

Kagome: "Well, uh…some of these things you might not understand Shippou."

Miroku: "Lady Kagome, I would like to listen as well, if you don't mind."

Sango: "Yes, Kagome-chan, so would I."

Kagome: "Uh…okay…here goes. So here are the top twelve things that all girl need to know:

**1: Girls in white shirts + water + boys disaster for girls and fun for boys."**

Miroku: Hmmm…Sango, darling, would you like to go to a party thing today…there'll be some water to drink there and…"

Kagome + Sango: "Shut up Hentai!"

Kagome: "You know, Sango, while I read these you could, oh, you know…beat the crap out of Miroku…I don't think anyone minds."

Sango: "It would be my pleasure Kagome-chan."

Shippou: "I'm confused."

Kagome: "It's okay, Shippou…we all are."

Inuyasha: "Shut up and get on with the rest of them, wench."

Kagome: "Why don't you shut up? Fine, I'll read the rest of them if there are no more interuptions…agree?"

Everyone: "Yes, Kagome"

Kagome: "Good. Now…here are the rest of them:

**2: Flirt a little, get a lot.**

**3: Girls who live in glass houses should dress in the basement.**

**4: A little bit of flirting goes a _long_ way.**

**5: Girls in white shirts should not go to parties with boys…and water.**

**6: And God said, "Let there be boys!"**

**7: Just because you don't like the guy doesn't mean that you still can't get free stuff off him.**

**8: Girls don't like guys…we like what guys give us!**

**9: Girls + guys + money + shopping one broke dude.**

**10: Boys are girls with defects.**

**11: Boys + money "Hi Big Boy."**

**12: And God said, "Let boys be _simple_ creatures…that girls can get stuff off of!"**

Everyone: "………"

Kagome: "Eh…that's it…"

Shippou: "Kagome?"

Kagome: "Yes, Shippou?"

Shippou: "I'm still confused. What does 'Big Boy' mean?"

Kagome: "Uh…look at the time! I have to go and uh…study…BYE!"

Inuyasha: "Kagome, wait! I'm confused to!"

Miroku: "Sooo, you finally admit it."

Inuyasha: "You're soooo dead, monk"

Sango: "Go get him, Inuyasha!"

Shippou: "Sango? What did all of that mean?"

Sango: "I have no idea. Lets just watch Inuyasha beat the crap out of Miroku, okay?"

Shippou: "Okay!"

A/N: Hi everyone! RandR please!

Did you like it? I hope you did. I've been slaving over a hot pen all day trying to think up some more.

I made up all of these, so far as my knowledge extends that is, in my room. I just now thought to put it in to a fanfic. If I get enough reviews, I might just make some more of these up! So please…REVIEW MEEEEEEE!

**_IMPORTANT:_**

I'd like to ask all of you to go and read my friend Aoyama Kori Narasaki's fanfiction called 'The Blizzard that started it all.' I think that it's a great story and I hope that all of you do to...if you read it.

LOVE YOU ALL! BYE!

Neo Staff. ;)


	2. insert your own title here

**_Kagome's35things that all girls need to know_**

_**By: Neo Staff**_

A/N: I NEED YOU ALL TO GO AND READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE END IF YOU HAVE READ THE PRINCESS SLAVE!THERE IS AN **_IMPORTANT_** MESSAGE THERE FOR YOU!

Kagome: "Hello again everyone! It's me again! I've made another book…more things that all girls need to know!"

Inuyasha: "Oh great…not again…"

Kagome: "Whats that suppose to mean, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha: "Exactly as it sounds…oh...great...not…again…you suck at these."

Kagome: "Sit boy!"

Inuyasha, muffled by the ground his face has just slammed into: "B----."

Kagome: "Hmmm? What was that?"

Inuyasha: "…"

Kagome: "That's what I thought."

Shippou: "Kagome! Can I read the new book? You said I could read the last one…but I never got to!"

Kagome: "Shippou, I read you the last book…remember?"

Shippou: "Yeah…but there were still pages that I didn't get to read."

Kagome: "Oh…those…those were…uh…um…a preview into this book!"

Shippou: "Oh…can I read this one then?"

Kagome: "Um…I would let you, Shippou…but I'm going to read it, ok?"

Shippou: "Fine…be that way."

Sango, whispering to Kagome: "So what is in the other book that you do not want Shippou to look at?"

Kagome: "Oh, nothing really…just…pictures."

Sango: "Ah…the ones that Houshi-sama gave to you?"

Kagome: "Yes…I didn't even look at them…I shoved them into the package that was to be published and they were put in to the back of the book"

Sango: "Oh, well, then that is a good reason to not let him read it."

Kagome: "Yes…now…have you seen Miroku?"

Miroku: "Did someone call?"

Kagome: "As a matter of fact yes Miroku…did you look at those pictures that you gave me?"

Miroku: "Yes, Kagome-sama, I did."

Kagome: "Oh…good…that gives me a reason to kill you."

Miroku: "Oh dear…" Runs

Inuyasha: "Kagome…can I _please_ kill him?"

Kagome: "Awww…you said please…sure you can."

Inuyasha: Runs after Miroku

Sango: "Kagome-sama? Will you tell us the things in the book now?"

Kagome: "Of course! Here are the thing that are in my new book:

**#14: Forget Barbie! Get a boy drunk and play dress up!**

**#15: The perfect boy: money, plus cuteness, plus money, plus young, plus money, plus a car, plus money, plus generosity, plus money, plus a house, plus money!"**

Miroku: "Is that it?"

Kagome: "What do you mean? Is that the end of the book? No, there's more."

Miroku: "No, I mean is that all that it takes to be the perfect boy?"

Kagome: "Um…sure Miroku!"

Miroku: "I have a new goal in life."

Kagome: "Oh no…anyways…here are the next ones:

**#16: The way to a mans heart? Easy! Take a knife and cut it out, it's that easy!"**

Sango: "Um, Kagome-sama? I don't believe that is very true."

Kagome: "What do you mean?"

Sango: "Well, I thought that the way to a mans heart was through his stomach."

Kagome: "Well…this is the cheap way!"

Sango: "Oh…ok."

Kagome: "Ok…let's see if I can get through any more. Here are a couple more from the book:

**#17: You like two boys? So date them both and don't tell the other! Twice the gifts!**

**#18: Understanding boys is like understanding their thoughts…it's impossible!**

**#19: Boys thought: Eat, sleep, work, look at girls, eat, sleep, work, look at girls…wait…what was I thinking? Something about girl…oh…girls…pretty girls…on beaches…"**

Miroku: "Girls…on a beach…I love that image!"

Sango: "Houshi-sama…how many lumps on the head do you want?"

Miroku: "None, my dear Sango, none!"

Sango: "Then be quiet so Kagome-sama can finish!"

Miroku: "…"

Kagome: "Thank you Sango. Let's see how many I can get through this time:

**#20: Girls thoughts: Wake up kids, cook breakfast, smell perfume…wait…perfume? He is soooooooo dead. Kill husband, kill husband, kill husband…**

**#21: Never tell your friends who you like before Christmas…they'll strip him and put him in your stocking…"**

Shippou: "Has that ever happened to you Kagome?"

Kagome: "As a matter of fact, yes, it has."

Inuyasha: "What?"

Kagome: "Well, one year I told my friends that I like this boy at school and they kinda…stripped him and put him in this huge stocking…I woke up and found him there still."

Inuyasha: "Who did they put in there?"

Kagome: "Hojo…why?"

Inuyasha: "Nothing, wench…I just…I'll be back later."

Kagome: "O…k…bye then…"

Inuyasha, jumps off in the direction of the well.

Miroku: "Will that work with boys as well?"

Kagome: "Sango…we know Whats coming…want to give him those promised lumps now?"

Miroku: "Never mind! I like my head the shape it is!"

Sango: "Damn."

Kagome: "Lets try this again:

**#22: What the words 'yes' and 'no' mean to a boy; 'yes' means: 'yes I will sleep with you'; 'no means: 'yes, I will sleep with you and another girl.**

**#23: How a boys mind works…I dunno! I ain't a boy!**

**#24: Somewhere in the world there is a group of girls that are studying a boys brain…and coming up with no results whatsoever.**

**#25: Drunk boys are fun!…when passed out.**

**#26: The only intelligent boys in the world are the ones that use to be girls."**

Shippou: "That use to be girls? How can they use to be girls?"

Kagome: "Um…Shippou that really isn't something that someone as young as you needs to know."

Shippou: "oh…why?"

Kagome: "Because…um…it's not nice?"

Shippou: "Why?"

Kagome: "Well, for one thing it includes surgical tools."

Shippou: "Surgimucul tools?"

Kagome: "Um…yeah…and they have to well…"

Sango: "Inuyasha! You're back…and you have blood on you."

Inuyasha: "S---! Hold on."

Kagome, Sango, Miroku, and Shippou: "…"

Inuyasha, runs off and washes the blood of coughHojocough off.

Inuyasha: "I had fun."

Shippou: "Inuyasha had fun doing something other then killing! It's the apocalypse!"

Inuyasha: "Come close, runt…I'll teach you why I have claws!"

Shippou: "I'd rather not know…"

Kagome: "I'm going home unless you all shut up and let me finish!"

Everyone: "…"

Kagome: "Oops? Sorry…"

Everyone: "…"

Kagome: "…anyways! Here are the last of them:

**#27: Girls, you must train your boys to do your work for you…it is the only way in life.**

**#28: Boys _can_ be taught…it just takes a while.**

**#29: And God said, "May boys think girls weak…so that one day girls may rule the world and prove them _wrong_!**

**#30: Miss your boyfriend? Get a puppy, there just as good…and they are loyal to!…oh…and you can teach them not to chew the furniture to!**

**#31: Girls, if you ever see a boy with silver hair and dog ears…say sit boy! It's fun to watch him go face first in to the ground!"**

Inuyasha: "Hey!"

Kagome: "Well it is!

**#32: Oh, and if you see this boy…could you tell me? I'm missing mine."**

Inuyasha: "What? I'm right here!"

Kagome: "Well…isn't that special?

**#33: Oh, one more thing about this boy…could you call him Poogly Woogly Bear for me? Thanks!"**

Inuyasha: "Ok…scared now…"

Kagome: "Oh, the big bad hanyou is scared!"

**#34: If you ever see a boy with silver hair, a fluffy tail, and is in a dress…run…I think he might be a cross dresser…AHHHHHHHHH!**

**#35: Miss your boyfriend? Awww, how sad…wait a second…I don't care…never mind."**

Sango: "That was good Kagome!"

Miroku: "I hope I can do some of those one day."

Shippou: "I don't understand."

Kirara: "Meow?"

Inuyasha: "Um Kagome? You might not want to watch the news for a while…there are no mysterious death!"

Kagome: "O…k…who did you kill?"

Inuyasha: "Running away now!"

A/N: RandR!

Yeah, I gots more done! You would not believe how long it took to do these! I just love writing these though! There so fun! Sorry it took me so long…like I said…it took a little while. Also, I know they seem a little off of how they really are...but I just thought doing that would make it easier to make it funnier...or something.

Please go and read my other fanfictions…if you haven't already.

Please go and read Aoyama Kori Narasaki's fanfictions.

Please go and read Griffin Gal's fanfictions.

To those of you who have read The Princess Slave chapter 14 and complained about it: Thank you so much! You made me pissed of enough to take that chapter off! I'm very disappointed in you all…I made a huge note that said it was a parody chapter. I din't know that people would be lazy enough not to read it...why do you think I put author notes up? For them to look pretty? I might not update for a while on that…I'm still really pissed off and every time that I get to writing it I don't feel inspired…I wonder why? To those of you who are _loyal_ fans...I'm sorry I might not update for a while.

Sorry to all of you who did like it…and I do not mean to seem this mean…I just don't see why no one read the note that was 20 feet high!

Anyways, I would like to know if you are registered at anime crave chat...if you are could you tell me your nickname? Mine is **Nene**.

I would also like to know who is rgistered at neopets...if you are, and you want to be neofriends, could you tell me your neoname on there? Mine is **moonbeamchan**. I'd love to be your neofriend!

Me love you all lotz lotz!

Neo Staff (called Nene…my nickname!)


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